2/12 ForReel Score | 1/5 Stars

One of the biggest challenges in making a horror film is not about the kills, the gore, or the intensity - it’s the charm. If the characters lack charisma or the story is unappealing, it’s hard to care about the kills. It’s insulting to the audience to think the horror ranks above all else, which is a major problem for many slashers. Peacock’s latest horror film They/Them falls victim to the stereotype. The film is flat and overall unremarkable with a story that is intended to be empowering, but just comes off as forced, stereotypical, and bland.

The film follows a group of queer teens all forced into a week long conversion therapy camp in hopes of appeasing their parents and be rewarded with orchestra seats to Moulin Rouge on Broadway like Tobi (Austin Crute, Booksmart), or the ability to keep a relationship with their family like Alexandra (Qei Tann, Dear White People). As the week goes on, the teens become more uneasy. Head of the camp Owen (Kevin Bacon, Footloose) and his wife Cora (Carrie Preston, True Blood) are less religious than expected. Their more accepting attitude feels like a false sense of security to Jordan (Theo Germaine, The Politician). The only sane seeming adult is the new nurse Molly (Anna Chlumsky, Veep), yet there’s still something not quite right with her either.

They/Them is outright awful and with no redeeming qualities, the big question is how did the production of this movie go so wrong. Writer/director John Logan has done some amazing work in the past, crafting scripts like the Aviator and Skyfall, but his directorial debut feels like a student film that was written in a fugue state. The story goes nowhere. The “men” have to shoot guns and the “women” are taught to bake pies, and the camp’s practices aren’t at all devilish. Out of the 104 minute runtime, there are only two creepy scenes towards the end of the film, but they’re so short lived they can’t even be processed. Having two counselors dry hump while looking at the arousing pictures on the campers' phones is something that could have been brought earlier into the film to add more unease.

Every word of dialogue is bad. Not even laughably bad, just super cringey. In a believable world, Gen-Z teens are not calling themselves “big flaming fruit” or talking about wasting their soul away fighting urges. Each character is very stereotypical: the jock, the princess, and the angry bisexual. It is more offensive than it is empowering. Then the major scene that is supposed to act as the group comradery moment has the campers singing and dancing to P!nk’s F*ckin Perfect. It just comes out of nowhere and is absolutely puzzling. There is no growth or empowerment to gain from it. The sex scenes by the lake are bigger bonding experiences. The characters are just thrown into friendships that come off as contrived and offer little to no development. Also there are 4-5 extras that have no lines and no close ups - just full on background characters so the camp doesn’t seem so sparse.

The acting is no better. Austin Crute, Qei Tann, and Anna Chlumsky had the potential for grander performances if the script permitted, but all other performances are to be forgotten shortly. Certain actors like Monique Kim (Veronica, What/If) and Theo Germaine were so stiff, at times it felt like they were reading off cue cards. Kevin Bacon sleep walks through his performance. He gives the audience nothing during his big final outburst. The murders weren’t impactful either. Not even ten minutes into the film does the ending become glaringly obvious.

It’s a huge disappointment to see the biggest queer casted horror film turn out to be such a flop. Audiences were hoping for a campy teen slasher with characters they could relate too and root for. Sadly They/Them takes itself way too seriously, and in trying to act as a coming of age film, warrior of social injustices, and Friday the 13th type slasher, it falters on all three fronts. I believe this film will act as a big learning lesson for studios on how to approach queer stories. Instead of letting a baby boomer with little to no knowledge of Gen-Z culture, open the doors for young queer writers to shine - an approach that’s been proven to work, as seen in the Queer as Folk reboot (you can read my review here). They/Them suffers from having an identity crisis and lacking charm, and ultimately, the only likable thing about the film is the name.

MOVIE REVIEW: "They/Them" Is Suffering An Idenity Crisis